“Sometimes I can look through you. Yes, that is me. How can I remain silent after watching you, watching the mess that you created, watching the storm unravel, watching the violin shriek. How could I leave you alone in this position. Ever.“, he thought.
Nothing changed. The time felt as if it had stopped. The slight breeze coming through the window was still playing with the curtains and filling the room with an atmosphere that made you think about life. The white walls still tried to maintain peace in the minds of the occupants of the room. The flower vase kept on the side-table tried its best to fill the room with a sense of joy and rejuvenation.
But still. She still lied down on the bed, unchanging, unflinching, just like she had been since the last two years. A deadly virus had caused her whole body in a state of Paralysis, but according to the Chief doctor, she could hear, perceive, and think. She just didn’t had anyway to show her emotions or state her opinions, well maybe just the increase or decrease in the rate of her heart beat.
He stared at her, not-knowing what to do or say. Can she really hear me? The doctor did say she can’t, but I just want her to reply. Just once. That one word from her mouth can keep me going for years. I just want to know that I haven’t lost her.
Right then he realized there was that usual beeping of the machine in the room. Oh yeah, the machine counting the heart rate. She is alive. He didn’t know what expression to show, and ended up with a forced smile.
He had been coming to the dampened room everyday. Everyday since the past two years. Wishing for a change, wishing for a miracle. But the doctors had told him that they hadn’t come across this disease as of yet, and they will do their best possible. As of then, they needed to monitor her state. Yeah, right. They had been monitoring her state since the past two years and haven’t been able to come up with a solution. What am I supposed to do. Could I have done anything if I had graduated with a MBBS degree rather than a BA.
He had graduated at the top of his class in Acting. He was a well-known actor. He could have gained more popularity and fame worldwide, had he continued his career. Well in a way, he still acted, but just in small advertisements. He had lost his motivation and passion for acting after he realized about her situation. It had just been an year in their marriage and this news had broken him. He didn’t know how to react. That’s very strange. I have acted so many times, yet I don’t know how to act in this situation. What should I do, I need to stay strong for her, but when I look at her, I can’t come to terms with myself. Why did this happen to her. The disease could have just chosen me instead. Why her!
He had tears in his eyes, but he controlled them. Even if there was a 1 percent chance that she was seeing him, he didn’t want her to see him crying. No, I can’t be weak. At least not in front of her. But considering how close they were, he knew that she could easily infer what was going on in his mind.
Another breeze came and the curtains flew a little higher this time. I suppose I should close the window. It might get cold for her in the night.
He looked outside the window, the sun was still setting but he could clearly see the moon in the sky. What has life come to, the warm and sunny path is vanishing away right in front of my face and the cold-yet-beautiful path is looking down on me. I don’t know which one to choose from. Is this some kind of a sign?.
He pulled the window, and closed it as quietly as possible. The breeze stopped coming, the curtains, eventually, came to a stand-still.
He went near her and kissed her on the cheek. He heard the heart rate monitor and the rate had increased to 140. He had a faint smile on his lips and whispered, “Still. Thank you.”
He closed her eyes so that she could sleep and walked towards the door. On reaching the doorstep, he turned around to face the room. The room is actually at a stand-still now. He lowered his gaze and shook his head.
He left the handle of the door and put his hand in his pocket. The door closed shut.
The night was cold outside, and the path back home was long.