I am turning 24 in a week, and lately I have been thinking all day about what do I want to do in life. Things are starting to clear up (or become more complex?) as I walk through this continuous flow of life, sometimes monotonous and at times surprising. At times I find myself staring up at the moon in the night, glowing so brightly while sometimes it is hidden by the clouds that shroud it.
As I keep on working in the company, learning new things and meaningful solutions, I often think if this is what I want to keep doing. What is it that I am looking for? No, I am not that good at blogging to get thousands of followers. Traveling needs money and I am not that interested in it. Although I would like to support people, I first need to develop the strength for the same. Yes I want to give that beggar in the street corner a thousand bucks, but will it be useful? Ultimately it would be spent on something other than knowledge, and to run a free education institution needs finance and dedication. What I am looking for is something more…
Something deep? With more meaning to myself?
We are all clinging to life, some of us barely. Probably the people around us make us do that. You binge from one series to another, go to pub often and yet find no solace. Maybe meditation can help. And yoga.
No matter where you are, the emptiness creeps in. But that’s not it. It comes with a need to do more. A want for something more. And there is no way to satisfy it. Not yet. So tire yourself out until the mind calms down, until it can’t think any more. Let the sleep filled with the dreams of the past shown in the future. Let it all go in the instance.
And the next morning, have that morning cup of black coffee. Splash your face with water. And re-start. Re-vitalize. Return with that craving of something more.