The Denial.

There are times when I just want to be left alone. Dan thought as he typed the new article for the job given to him. There has been increasing amounts of work since the past few days, or is it just I have been feeling more tired so it seems like the work has increased.

After giving it a pause, he sighed and spoke aloud, “Yes, I need to get out from this city and from people for some time. Too many people isn’t a good thing either.”

Dan went to the window and looked outside. He could look at the shining stars as well as the bustling crowd on the roads getting ready for the Friday night. He looked at people walking hand-in-hand, friends laughing with each other, women in beautiful dresses and men with beer bottles, and kept on looking for another fifteen minutes wondering how it would be if he was there as well with friends.

He was brought back to reality as the alarm on his computer went off, the fifteen minutes break was over. Woah, really? I just got up. Well whatever, as I was saying, I need to get out of this place where there are less humans so that I can think peacefully, he thought and started working on the article again.

It was a long night, and Dan enjoyed working alone, from the comfort of his home, as a freelancer.

⁃ Siddarth

The other half.

“Writings are just a waste of time”, the writer said, exhausted after reading a critics comments on his social fan page, “What is it that these people want? If they don’t want to read it then don’t. Who asked them to put in such awful comments?”

Kim looked at her husband, he certainly looked exhausted. Perhaps his time as an author was over after two consecutive bestsellers, or perhaps people wanted him to outdo himself this time… expectations too hard to catch up to. She sighed in her seat and went to make breakfast.

It was early in the morning, the location of this house let the writer hear the birds chirping. “Oh, what a bliss this is”, were the words on his first morning at the house. The writer would often get up early and look outside the window as the sun rose. Nowadays, the sound of these chirps was muffled by the voices of new comments and even though his eyes welcomed the rising sun, his thoughts kept recalling the critics words. The harder he tried to ignore it, the harder he tried to write the correct words, the more difficult it got with each passing day.

As time rushed forward, deadlines were missed, and thoughts became more chaotic. Less people followed him and there came a time when only a couple hundred were left. Scared to lose them as well, the writer tried to make the story based on the comments these followers commented… and went as far as to leak the final edit to a few to make sure that the words were appreciated. But as they say, conflict will arise if there is more than 1.

Slowly these couple hundred were reduced to a mere 10…and then one. Yes, there was one follower who always supported him, irrespective of what he wrote. That one was the only thing that kept him going, kept him sane. Even though he never listened to the changes Kim asked him to make, the words of that one follower was like law, needed to be thought on.

It was another five years when he realized that his wife was that follower, when he saw her laptop open by chance and matched the username of the follower. Tears rolled out his eyes for not seeing and understanding something right in front of his own eyes. That was the main purpose of a writer, to understand the feelings even if they are not said and yet he failed to see!?

As much time had passed in their relationship, he didn’t know how to communicate this to his wife even after knowing this fact. Nor did Kim know how to convey her feelings to him after all this time. And so, they kept on communicating online as a follower and the writer… knowing each other too well and yet not having the courage to break the ice.

Often, or rather almost every time it so happens that people forget to embrace and understand the ones closest to them, who always remain by their side. And they don’t get a chance to embrace them when they finally understand.

-Siddarth

Humans Evolved.

Alex told her that it will not be possible for him to come to pick her up. It was a Wednesday and he was too tired after work to drive again.

The angel was intently watching as Alex told this to Sharon, how Sharon replied with nothingness from her side and cut the call. He flew up to Sharon’s location and walked up to her.

The angel looked at the human for a minute, and then asked, “Why is it that no one wants to take that extra step nowadays? How come everything has changed so much now.”

Sharon replied, “Yes. You are right. No one wants to take that extra step. Whether it is family, friends or strangers, no one wants to walk that extra mile to help-out the other person. Why is it so? And when did the new generation become like that? The world was already getting destroyed by pollution and humans didn’t think of Mother Earth as important. But now the vicious cycle has come to a point where a human doesn’t even consider their fellowmen, their neighbors or even their family members as important.”

The angel was a little sad to hear the human’s response and replied, “Why did it come to like this? What was the reason for humans to fall in such a deep pit that they couldn’t even ask for help from other people? Does the pit block out all noises from outside or does it not let the victim’s voice reach out? Will humans become accustomed to this loneliness and just keep embracing… themselves?”

“They already are.”, said Sharon as she went her way because of the un-productive questions that the angel was asking.

-Siddarth

Uneasiness

What is this feeling of uneasiness,
This emotion that presents everyday;
Is it because I don’t have a reason,
Or a goal, let alone the correct way.

Is it because I lock it inside,
These feelings that rock my mind;
Whether it is love, hate or celebration,
I don’t let others know what I find.

As I wake up, I think about life,
How can I know, what can be done;
What is the right decision to make,
What is it that I need to learn.

This feeling of uneasiness that hangs around,
Keeping me up till two in the night;
Is it because I haven’t find that someone,
To keep myself from this loneliness or fright.

Or is it because I don’t talk much,
Working like a robot all the time;
Putting the career in front of relations,
Without caring to be friendly or kind.

Whatever it is, I want to stop,
This notion that something is missing;
Thinking, I am not complete yet,
Not even knowing how to fix it.

So laying on the bed, I ask you, life,
Give me the reason for my arrival;
I am sure there must be one, and,
Who is the friend, the love or the rival.

-Siddarth

What do I seek for?

What is this emptiness I feel,

Or, rather, is it something that I seek;

Trying to find a passion for this life,

Along with this silent crowd, I kneel.

I say that I want to feel more energy,

And yet walk at a pace, along with others;

The people who I used to call friends,

Are ahead or back, but with me are none.

So, am I seeking to find something,

Or just solace in the arms of someone;

Is it love that I am missing in life,

Or is it a simple desire to have some fun?

-Siddarth

Travel

Afters months I start,
This time to Spain;
In the month of January,
With some snow and rain.

I reached a day earlier,
so that I could relax;
A peaceful night at the hotel,
To sleep and recharge max.

The trip started today,
When others are here;
While getting into the bus,
We introduce ourselves in name.

The first day was interesting,
We got to our hotel;
The day went in settling
And taking in the new smell.

At night there was a party,
Just like any other day;
We walked to the club,
After seven glasses we lay.

Waking up the next day,
I didn’t remember how I got in the bed;
While walking on the way,
I even hit a tree, they said.

That morning we went to a church,
Although I still had a headache;
But that place was so beautiful,
That it took my breath away.

The next city was Madrid,
Where we saw the astonishing architecture;
The gate, the station, the garden,
Impeccable designs wherever you venture.

The last stop was Granada city,
Where we saw a soccer match;
Was it against Barcelona, a pity,
Lionel Messi scored a hat trick.

The morning was at the beach,
The afternoon spent at the stadium;
So the night was to be obviously,
Danced away in radiance.

Again it happened I think,
Getting drunk at the night club;
But considering it was the last day,
Not drinking anything was snubbed.

And there everyone got shots,
We all danced all night;
Even getting lost in the streets,
Till the hotel came up in sight.

Waking up in the afternoon
Somehow I was back in bed;
Considering I had to leave soon,
Farewell to everyone I said.

-Siddarth

Mark Twain

#morning #motivation #life #friends #people #MarkTwain #greatness #quoteoftheday

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Do you run? Don’t run too far ahead.

She asked him, “Why do you run so much? Don’t you care about others?”

“I do”, he replied, “I just like running. To be more. To become better. To be the best.”

“So you want to be the best?”

“Yes. That pretty much sums it up.”

“Where do you want to reach?”

“To the top. Become the best in a field.”

“So you leave everyone behind. You just focus on your task and don’t hang out with others?”

“Yes. SO? You need to be dedicated to become the best. This is important.”

“okay”, she replied with an annoyed expression.

After a minute of silence, he finally spoke, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Just spit it out now.”

“Okay. You say you want to be the best, and that’s why you don’t want to hang out with others. Can’t you meet friends at least once a day or just alternate days, for an hour? That isn’t much.”

“But you know, I need to be focused. With friends you need to control yourself to not get involved any further in plans.”

“So don’t get ‘involved’ any further in plans. Just chill out for an hour in a day. It will do you good. And will help you stop taking those pills.”

“Pills?”

“Yeah. Your mom told me that you take stress pills. Seriously, is being the best worth it if you have to do it like this.”

He was silent. He had no answer to that question, all he had wanted was to be the best. He didn’t have a reason, or he never tried finding one.

“You seem so broken. Do you even know why you are trying this hard?”, she said as if reading his mind.

He was dumbfounded. After a second of realizing that she had asked something, he spoke, “I just want to be the best.”

“But why?”, she repeated, her eyes wide this time.

“I don’t want to be left out. I want to become better so that people respect me. And yeah, I need to buy cars, so I do what I can do best to earn money from it.”

“So that means you are basically after money? And a sense of devotion from people?”

“Not really. I want to be remembered as being the best in that field.”

“Okay. That’s more like it. But still, its related to people. You seem to have a tough childhood.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Nothing. So back to my first statement, I was saying that if you kep working this hard, you might be able to reach your goal.”

“Yes.”

“So, when you reach there, and you haven’t connected with everyone, then do you know how you will feel. It will be lonely. You will turn back that you have left everyone behind. Your enemies, your competitors, your family and your friends. Everyone.”

“So what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t want you to be lonely and broken in the future. Many celebs get lonely and turn to drugs. I don’t want you to be like that.”

“So is there some magic strategy that can help me achieve non-loneliness and yet be the best?”

“Yes. I just told you. Just spend a little time with others, friends, family, etc. Then you will have people, wherever you walk or wherever you run.”

“That sounds tough.”

“I bet.”

“I will give it a try.”

“You should give it a try.”

He smiled and said, “Well have to go now. It’s time to for some programming.”

“There you have it again. HaHa. But you spent a bit of time with me so I won’t complain. But make sure to do this everyday. Not necessarily with me, but with any friend or family. Or even strangers, get to know them.”

“Hmph. Fine fine, enough of your lecture. I will keep this in mind. See you later.”

“See you then.”

Work hard or casually?

I was just thinking, it might sound weird but listen: I want to reach the top and be the best, and for that I need to work hard all the time and not be able to chat casually with others. When I see others doing nothing much then it irritates me and makes me think why do I have to do that much. Then I realized today that other people might not be wanting to be the best. They might be satisfied with what they are and have. They can keep going casually laughing with friends and doing their thing. Then I thought what is the use of doing so much that I do. And it made me sad and irritated. And I lost focus from everything.

A guy with a brave heart

“This story”, he started in a soft voice, “is about a man. A man who sacrificed himself for the sake of protecting his comrades.”

“He was born an orphan. No parents, no uncle or aunts, no one. The orphanage behind the church told him that he was found there, on the footsteps of the church one night. Just like so many other children in the orphanage. No one knew anything about themselves or where were they from.”

“He was satisfied with the answer, thinking that his parents had been busy and that’s why had to leave him. But they will come back to pick him up someday. That’s why he tried to behave and be disciplined in the orphanage and didn’t create ruckus. But no one came.”

“It was on his tenth birthday, after the small celebration in the orphanage was over, he went outside in the ground. The moon was full that night and the bright light dazzled the ancient-looking playground. No. It wasn’t only the moon.”

“He touched his cheeks with his tender little fingers and found it was wet. Tears? But why? Why am I crying on my birthday. His birthday was on the day he had been found on the steps of the orphanage. He looked around as if searching for someone. He cried, ‘Mom! Dad! Where are you! I miss you so much!’

“A staff member heard him. She came out to the door of the playground. Should she go there? Will it be alright if she helped him and hugged him? Should she not interrupt him? Will going through this make him stronger? At last she decided not to interfere but watch him from a distance.”

“The boy was still crying. He didn’t make a sound now, just looked up at the moon and tears rolled down his eyes as water down a stream. Soon the tears stopped. The slight breeze that had been blowing, now began its work to dry the tears. Within half n hour there was no trace of the tears.”

“He now closed his eyes and whispered, Whispered to the wind so that it will carry his voice to every being on the earth. ‘I am alone’, he said, ‘there is no one else. Someone left me here but I made a family here. There is Yami, Ken, Yomo, Kone and so many others. But still something is missing, I feel empty from inside. Is this because of the wish of seeing my parents and getting disappointed every single time. If that is it then I will try to become stronger. Those who are loneliest ride the highest or drown the lowest, it’s your path to take. I will ride higher and higher, I promise. I will help everyone if I can.”

“He grew up to become a strong and honorable policeman. He often took the toughest of missions so that others won’t have to take it and succeeded because he wanted to keep on fighting and protecting others.”

“In one such mission he had to go undercover, and climb deep up the enemy ranks. He needed to become one of the top ranks in the enemy group so that he could be in on all the major intel. He had to become the enemy himself and even take the damage from police itself, sometimes even from his previous partners. Both sides had nothing but to oblige with the conditions of the mission. That was how far he was willing to go for his comrades. And he never stopped.”

“But soon the pressure from the investigation became too much of a burden for him. He was so used to being the enemy that he would often forget on whose side he really was. But fortunately the operation was finished within two years, all because of his help. Although till that time he had already become so exhausted that he didn’t had the patience or energy to continue on.”

His superiors, juniors and colleagues all admired him but at the same time felt pity for his condition. He understood that he won’t be able to continue his job as a law enforcer there, so he decided of quitting.”

“But his superior was too fond of him to let him go. The superior had been like a guardian to him since the last ten years, and he was worried about him leaving the job and wandering around. So he asked him to apply for the police academy. A teaching position. This way he didn’t have to be on the field and would rarely have to see the same people from the field unit, he would have a calm and sound life just what he deserved after his immense and commendable service.”

“He thought about it for a minute, considering his colleagues will be out of his sight, while he can still be connected to the police somehow. And there was also the chance to teach young talent, and be peaceful. The place seemed adequate, in fact exactly what he wished for. He said he will take up the job for a month and if he didn’t like it then he will quit. The superior was glad and he accepted his condition.

“He just joined to academy today, in fact his first class started about half n hour ago. And now here I am, so that’s my introduction. Could I know each one of you. the same way you know me now?