Is it this Simple?

“Only if I had a car”, Arnav thought, “She would be so impressed by me and probably break up with Rohan. That would be so great.”

After a year…

“I wish I had better looks”, Arnav thought, “Then she wouldn’t look at other guys and only think about me…”

After a year…

“I definitely need a better and sweet personality so that I can do sweet things for her”, Arnav thought, “and she wouldn’t be swayed by others.”

After a year…

“God give me strength to be able to give my life for her”, Arnav thought, “If only I can do that, she will admire me more.”

After a year…

She got married to another man with a decent living, who had simply told her, “I love you. However I might be, I will place you first before anything else in life.

-Siddarth

Ego’s victory

“It’s a hoax”, he groaned, “Why do you have to put up all that. Is it all fake then?”

She was stunned after hearing those words. Although he had not mentioned it clearly, she understood what he was referring to. Tears rolled out her eyes, the mascara began to drop as well. She found the handkerchief in her purse and took it out, using it to clean her cheeks of the mascara. But she smeared the whole make-up on the cloth instead, now looking even worse as an amateur’s try on someone’s face.

Now even more disturbed she looked at her handkerchief and began crying even more loudly.

Stanley was just tired, and held his head with both his hands after this scene thinking, “Why did I marry her? How can it be that I lost my sanity in the last moment?” He raised his head to look over at her face with a disappointed look and then lowered his gaze to the floor. “Just why…?”

After about five minutes of continuous crying, the wife stopped, probably tired of the tears, looked at Stanley. “How can he be like that? He wasn’t like this before marriage. Then what changed? It has been only 10 years in marriage, and he acts so ignorantly. He would have come rushing to wipe my tears earlier, but now he doesn’t even care. What has happened? Did he meet someone else?”

Stanley felt the gaze and could sense the questions, the doubts in his wife’s mind. He wanted to say, “I am sorry. I am just tired of all the work, and formalities and love. I can’t find an anchor in life. There has been so much difference since the past couple of years that now it’s just doubts and cries in this relationship.” But a man’s ego it was. How could he come down and say such a pitiful thing to his woman?

No one was at fault, but at the same time both were. As they hesitated, the crack widened.

-Siddarth

Still, Lets talk

It was in the evening,
When I saw you for the first time;
I looked outside the window,
There you were all cute and docile.

At the time you were his girl,
Of a friend and classmate of mine;
So I didn’t ask you anything,
Because it’s wrong to be in that line.

The next time I sent you a “Hi”,
Probably after two years or four;
Throughout we chatted just like that,
And you told me that relationship was no more.

So I did flirt with you,
And talked to you everyday;
Watching you sleep was the,
Best point of living that way.

Then I bluntly said, “I love you”,
And you told me the same;
Hence we formed a pact,
Never to let go of each other again.

But something happened then,
I don’t know what it was;
Maybe it was the distance or the career focus,
I didn’t wanted to be distracted or at loss.

So I asked you to stop messaging,
And you got annoyed with me;
I probably deserved that, I agree,
Neither of us could understand the lonely.

We talked again, after a year,
But it was just to wish each other;
It was sweet, yet brought lots of tear,
I asked you to stop this pain.

Surprisingly, we talked again,
And this was after another year;
It all started again with a “Hi”,
But this time you already had a guy.

It is for the best I believe,
As friends we should live;
Not hurting each other, keep
Talking about all the nonsense.

-Siddarth

Cherry Blossoms

On the day the cherry blossoms flew,
My heart saw right through you;
As you cozied up with another guy,
And I realized everything was just a lie.

It was on that cherry blossoms day,
When in the garden I lay;
I realized I had changed so much,
Going as far as to learning Dutch.

I cried on that cherry blossoms day,
As the wind blew in the month of May;
“How wonderful it would be”, I thought,
“If on that day I had never really caught”.

But on the same day with cherry blossoms,
A girl came and lay on the grass;
She had red eyes, perhaps from crying,
And I thought I was the only one to go through this lot.

So on this cherry blossoms day,
I stood up and pulled out the handkerchief;
Handing it to her, I looked her in the eyes,
And said, “It’s a tough thing to satisfy this heart.”

So on this cherry blossoms day,
What will you do, lay or play?
Because life will move on, love will happen,
And hearts will melt to pave the way.

-Siddarth

Relationship summarized

He looked at me.

I was astonished.

He smiled.

I didn’t know how to react.

He came closer.

I grabbed my chest.

He was just a step away.

It felt like my whole body was beating.

He stepped on my foot.

I opened my mouth.

He moved his foot back.

I screamed in pain.

He went away.

I kept looking at his back.

He was gone.

I looked at the impression his foot had made on my shoe.

Another one came.

Where was my heart?

He came closer.

I moved farther.